The post in which S talks too much.

Well that was fortunate.  I nearly forgot my password for a second there.

I suppose that’s what you get for not saving your old firefox passwords on a regular basis. Other than that, the lack of cookie files, the fact that half of my files are still on my iPod video; and the fact that whenever I boot up a 3000×5000 px or larger piece of art on the GIMP, combined with MSN, iTunes and FF; my computer finds it necessary to tell me that I “don’t have enough RAM”, this new PC isn’t so bad.

It looks like Windows 7, thanks to some lengthy modifications…so, that’s a step up from my old vista theme. And everything’s a lot neater, when you only have half of your files. It’s a little slow though. I’ll have to defrag every once and a while and keep my HD free, to compensate. I kind of feel bad now, for complaining about my Shuttle PC; when I didn’t defragment it once in the whole 2 years or so I had it.

Shame. Shame I have absolutely no idea which part of it needs to be replaced, either.

Oh; and business cards. There’s another update.  So…I recieved my 500 cards in the mail. Quickly delivered, of course…and that’s about all I was impressed with. The print job was awful, and the size wasn’t even business card size. So I went with a more local printer and they turned out perfect! Not only that, but also, they must have sent me way too many or something; because I have 300-something cards. <3 And the envelope people sent me an extra 14…so, I have 264 finished and packaged, signed envelopes with cards in. I’m handing the rest of the cards out as normal, but I’ll probably throw in an enveloped one once and a while.

I’ll probably update sometime later with a photograph of them, when my camera shows itself.

And in recent S news, S is deeply considering seeking some sort of…well…psychiatric help is a bit much for an explanation. Just…something? I don’t know. Depression medication would be nice. I’m a bit stumped, really. I’ve been thinking about it for about four years; but whenever I get close, I tell myself that it’s a bad idea. That it’ll go down on my permenant record of being crazy.  Eugh. I don’t know. I guess I’m just frustrated, and a bit angry with everything right now. At people, for not realising when to leave me alone…and at myself, for not being able to tell them to leave me alone. And everything else, of course. Exam stress, not being able to get things finished…the fact that I’ve just lost both my Biology and English essays (from the holidays), due to this whole computer malfunction. I just feel like there’s no point in anything anymore. D: That I might as well just give up. :B I guess i just feel depressed all of the time…and nobody is willing, or perhaps able to help me.

Which I suppose is where the contemplation of seeking help comes in. Somehow it seems like the only person in the world that I can talk about all this to is half way across the world…and if there’s anyone here; well; they probably wouldn’t want to waste their time with me. What’s going through my head right now is…a bit weird to explain in text, on the internet…and the last thing anyone wants is to end up being noticed; and then to have all of that pulled back from the depths of cyberspace. So I’m not going to explain to you, you metaphorical, non-existent, possibly metaphysical readers of mine. I’m not going to go into depth with it…because…well, you probably wouldn’t know what the hell I was talking about anyway.

Either way…whatever it is that I have to say – but can’t to the vast expanse of the internet – the bottom line still stands. I like how things are. I like how things are going. And I don’t want them to change. There’s nothing wrong with the way I am (or at least, nothing in the sociological sense), and there’s no reason for me to start conforming to everyone else’s norms now – as there never has been a point in it anyway. So, no. People can try all they like; but it’s not going to happen. I’ve been a mess for 10 years, and as horrible as it is to be that way, it’s all I know now. Better I work things out with the rationalist approach, than go all empirical.